91. Loving Your Spouse Through Addiction
with Joy Harrington
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Joy Harrington is the founder of Level Up Babe – her social media coaching company where she helps women level up their businesses, mindset, and presence to go big online. She is the host of the Level Up Babe podcast – a show dedicated to help others learn how to use their rock bottom as a catalyst to something even better by sharing her own story of rock bottom when addiction and infidelity hit her marriage 4 years ago. She is a wife of 9 years, a mom to two littles and lives in Denver, CO with her family.
About a year and a half into her marriage, Joy knew that her husband, Peter, was struggling with an addiction to pornography. He also admitted to Joy that he had not been faithful while they were dating but since the time of their engagement he had been faithful, with the exception of porn. Joy had a hard time finding anyone to lean on and discuss the issues in her marriage without feeling ashamed and like there was something wrong with her or something wrong with her husband.
Joy and her husband had several significant changes in a short period of time (out of state move, new baby, a battle with post-partum depression). During this time, Peter was traveling a lot for work. Some things transpired that left Joy with this gut feeling that he wasn’t being honest and possibly being unfaithful to her. Unfortunately, her suspicions were right and Joy had proof. Joy and Peter separated but did not divorce because of the children. She gave him thirty days and a list of things to do to show her why she shouldn’t file for divorce.
Thankfully, Peter began to work on the list and they entered counseling. Counseling did bring up a lot of hurt and Joy fell into a period of deep grief. She felt that she had lost her identity. Joy realized that she had been putting her identity into being a wife and a mother, and that was it. That grief started her journey to figure out who she was a person and who Jesus calls her to be outside of a wife and mother and to not place her security or identity in being a wife or mom. Joy decided she was not going to be a victim of her story and she got to work on herself!
In this podcast, we talk about the two ways to process emotion and the importance of choosing the right one. Joy shares from her experience what it means to be there for others during a time of struggle, even when it may be uncomfortable. Joy’s story is a story of redemption in her marriage, her faith, and her view of herself.
On Instagram: @joyharrington.ig
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